OK, you've set up your customer service policy, you have a great guarantee for your product or service, you are, in fact, working flat out to make your business a success. Then, you get an email from someone who is so ANGRY you feel personally insulted, defensive and, finally, enraged.

You sit down and bang out an email to set this idiot straight and really "tell it like it is," as you wonder, "Who do they think they are, anyway?" The email goes out, you feel a sense of justification and empowerment, and your rage fuels the rest of your workday. Everyone who comes in contact with you gets treated to the story of how you sure told that "so and so" off. You didn't need their business anyway, right?  WRONG!

First, you reacted to the client's anger and did nothing to determine what the problem was. If you don't know what is wrong, how can you fix it? You lost a good opportunity to get insight on your own business practices from someone who wanted to start a dialogue with you. Granted, they were not very diplomatic, but they did take steps to try to solve their own problem. You just didn't like the way they did it. You let your emotions take over and now, instead of having one upset person, you have two.

Second, not everyone has the skill to register a complaint in a civilized manner. This is where you have to set the tone for future communications and take control of the situation.

What should you do when you receive a complaint?

1. Most people who send out angry letters, or make angry phone calls to complain, have been thinking about the problem for awhile. By the time they get around to contacting you, they have convinced themselves that you, or your product or service, are the reason for all of their problems. They are MAD.

Try to distance yourself from the anger vibes and listen to what is actually being said. Don't react to personal attacks upon your character at this point. Let the person vent their anger. If they have communicated with you by email, don't answer the message in full. Send out a short note saying something like, "Thank you for your email. I am directing this to our customer service department and someone will contact you shortly to discuss your concerns."

2. If you are handling the problem through email, sit down and try to determine what the actual problem is. You may have to wade through a lot of unrelated stuff, but take a pen and paper and make notes as to what their real concern is before you compose a reply. Now that you have the facts, decide what you can do to resolve the issue. Will you refund monies, exchange the item, offer them a replacement? Have some ideas in mind before you get in touch with the person.